#5: My Love Story and How I Struggle with It

I was very struggling with love. How I searched for someone that I thought was right for me, etc. I also received a gentle rejection many times because I couldn’t meet their expectations.

In a time when I was really struggling about love, I prayed to God. Pray for nine days of novena too. I didn’t ask too much, just someone who can love me for who I am, have the same religion and race as me, and also doesn’t smoke. That’s all. I also said that it’s okay for me if God wants to send me an old acquaintance.

In short, one and half months after, someone texted me on my instagram inbox. I opened that text. Oh My God! He was Jeff. I’m so shocked. But I thought having a new friend is good. Nothing’s wrong with it. So, I replied to his text and we continued to talk by text. We moved to whatsapp after two days of talking on instagram.

After we moved to whatsapp, our journey was not very smooth. We also had some obstacles in our friendship before we decided to become a couple. When we were friends, sometimes I felt he didn’t want to talk with me. I was also confused with him. I had time to ignore him, pretended I didn’t wanna talk with him anymore. But it just got me caught in my own trap. The more I kept quiet about him, the more I got curious about him, even though I didn't ask anything to him.

When we didn’t talk often before we became a couple, I thought he didn’t wanna get closer to me. I thought I must search for another boy. I wanted to make our relationship clear, but I thought it was not my place. So, I wanted to brush it off and let it go.

One day, when I kept quiet, he tried to text me. Also, he sent me some corn because he knows that I love corn. Because of it, we talked again.

After he sent me some corn, we went together again. We went to Jakarta. Then, we became closer again. I got a chance to know him more. He started to be open to me and told me about his parents’ background. Also, in the bus, he sat right next to me. This made my heart shake. “What happened to me? Do I fall in love with him?”. I said it to myself on the day he and I went together to Jakarta.